Tao Out Loud Newsletter Volume 4: The Magic of Adoption
Welcome to Volume 4 of the Tao Out Loud newsletter where we’re finding everyday magic, every day! If you’ve come here by chance, or a friend passed this on, I hope you’ve come to stay. Sign up below so you don’t miss a thing.
I love how beautifully Vocabulary.com puts it.
When you adopt something, you consciously select it and accept it as your own.
A few nights ago I had to consciously accept that The Magic of Adoption would be the title of Volume 4. As I curated content for May’s mailout I didn’t have this topic in mind at all, but you’ll find the theme (albeit in a very broad sense) running right through this letter. It wasn’t what I planned, and this isn’t how it usually works, but I hope it is just what you need this month.
Magic Deconstructed (Part 4)
[ 2 mins ]
As treasure seekers, we have to be so intentional about positioning ourselves for joy, and proactively protective against everything that seeks to steal it. Where it doesn’t present itself we must expect it, and where it hides, find it; digging deep into ancient wells, taking untrodden paths, uncapping messages in bottles long forgotten.
Extract from Volume 3
G
Ladies and gents, we’re halfway through our look at the stuff of magic using the letters M-A-G-I-C. If you want to catch up on the rest of the conversation, past volumes are available to you on the archive. I have to admit that of the five, this one is my favourite because it yields the most far-reaching goodness. It’s like using a metal detecting shovel (these actually exist) to find gold when you’ve been using a plastic trowel and pail your whole existence. This magical, practical, timeless tool is gratitude.
Gratitude
As a family, we’re determined to meet each day with celebration over complaint. Now, I said it is a commitment, not something we’ve necessarily perfected. But there is something to be said for effort; and a little thankfulness goes a loooooonnnnnng way.
Gratitude and compassion are the stuff of miracles.
It’s a choice really, a way of life to be adopted, an intentional push in the opposite direction of where feelings may want to take me. I’ve become so committed to finding the good, that it is slowly becoming a habit. But I want this to run even deeper; I want it to arrest the pessimism that comes from experience, and to snuff out the negativity that keeps my glass half empty.
I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
Psalm 34:1
Gratitude is not just giving thanks for the blessings you can perceive, to see value in what is right before you, but being optimistic enough to perceive the blessings that may yet be hidden or on their way. To help with this, God wants to heal some of us in the areas of our disappointment, where unmet expectations have made us not want to reach with our whole hearts. He is working on me still with this one. I want my heart to find a way to run over, no matter how things look; the hardest work is always needed in the places we are weakest.
In the midst of life's madness, blessings are constantly hitting the timeline of your life.
In the overflow of gratitude is joy. Do you ever catch yourself smiling or singing even in the midst of a trying time? I quoted Psalm 34 above. When King David made this declaration, he wasn’t living his best life. He was stuck in a cave surrounded by his enemies, but even a dying breath holds honour within. John Maxwell tells us in The Winning Attitude that gratitude (or praise, as he puts it) 1. Begins with the will, 2. Flows to the emotion, and 3. Spreads to others; and furthermore our attitudes can turn our problems into blessings.
Gratitude helps you fall in love with the life you already have.
Gratitude turns what you already have into enough.
From a list of 50 Gratitude Statements by Sweet PlanIt
Let’s allow the simple sweetness of life to come greater into focus, till everything else fades away. Let’s dive for reasons to offer genuine thanks to God when we feel deep waters trying to drown us in despair. In this is joy, and joy is untouchable magic.
Continued in June’s newsletter with I…
Thank God for people
Who tell the whole story
God, give us the courage we needJason Upton, Write Every Day Down
I don’t usually interrupt the quotes with my own thoughts but I encourage you to listen to this song and click the ‘Show More’ in YouTube to read about Etty Hillesum — hers is one of the stories that inspired this encouragement to bravely measure the moments that make us.
You learn more about life by watching a child than you’ll ever learn reading philosophy text books.
Ravi Zacharias, In Memoriam 1946-2020
Nothing will stop you from seeing the value of what God has given you, than by looking at what someone else got.
Robert Madu
[ 2 mins ]
The Magic of Adoption
Today would have been my grandmother’s birthday. That’s my mom’s mum; one of the dearest, most remarkable ladies you ever could meet. I had the honour of delivering her eulogy and I wanted to share some thoughts adapted from that essay with you —
She was born Dulcie Ianthe Taylor in Speightstown in May of 1923. She was raised by her beloved grandmother, Bessie, who also lived to her mid-nineties and who she looked after, along with her great aunt, until they both passed. The circumstances of her birth were objectionable at the time and this created some challenges for her early in life. Eventually the love and devotion of her grandmother made up for any discomfort these difficulties caused and instead of making her bitter, served to form the compassionate person she was.
Granny had no biological children but took in, looked after, nurtured, cherished and legally adopted quite a few. She was a wonderful mother to my mum, Ann-Christine, who she travelled to Trinidad to adopt when she was only 7 days old and mothered several others officially and unofficially. She loved her family and always put others before herself. In fact, she was willing to help anyone that crossed her path, fed everyone that darkened her threshold and was generous and trusting to a fault.
We always knew we were special to Granny because of the time she selflessly invested in us - whether in some sort of lesson, game or activity, in reading to us, teaching us to write, driving us from place to place or myriad other ways we recall her adding value to our lives. In latter years she would stay up until each of us returned home from a night out, reminding us she was unable to sleep until she knew we were safely in. She was available and dependable, a phenomenal pillar of support to our family as the dynamics and demands of life swirled around us.
Dulcie went to be with the Lord on March 2, 2016. When a loved one passes, your mind automatically begins to grasp for all the memories it can muster to try to keep that person near to you. Things they would say or liked to eat, a scent they wore or song they’d sing, like the ones Granny would warble at us from old movies and other special moments from her past. Us with the daisies in the garden. Her at the mahogany table grinding fruit for Christmas cake, or crushing ice for drinks with a hammer and a towel. Years and pages of stamps and stories. They meant so much to her that she started to ask us later in life who would claim them, and so perpetuate her life’s work. Spelling lists and life lessons. She read our books and read our minds. And when those storybooks put her to sleep instead of us we'd laugh at how often the hen jumped onto the fence in one sentence, as she dozed and woke up and started reading at the same place a dozen times. She held us when we cried. And cheered us when we tried. These are the snapshots of her life and love that remain.
She also had a penchant for mischief and with a great sense of humour, enjoyed a good joke to the point of tears. We thank God for every smile, for all she’s taught us, for the time she invested in shaping us into who we are, for her hands and her heart. She’s left in us a legacy, an inheritance for her children’s children. We will never forget this phenomenal woman or cease to be thankful for this beautiful gift of family.
The Magic of Brotherly Love
This mindset to adopt, compliments my friend and general glass half full kinda guy, Chris Millar. He’s a great follow by the way. I made a poster to illustrate his good reminder. Let’s try to ask ourselves the better question…
The message on this mug, that has really, nothing to do with anything else in this newsletter but it made me giggle. The truth, doesn’t hurt. It’s hilarious.
This new skill…(or an old one depending on how you look at it.) It claims to be a how to for kids, but we all can learn something from its simple directives on how to write a thank you note. It’s a lost art I guarantee you.
This very genuine thank you via someecards.com.
These living things we can adopt:
Plants:
29 spectacular house plants by owner personality type. I may be either ‘the person who takes really long showers’ or ‘the person who has killed every plant they bought’. Which one are you?
This guy who takes plant adoption to a whole other level, and can teach you how too!
Families:
Kudos to the Adopt-A-Family program set in place in Barbados to help struggling families under quarantine. Follow the link to get involved.
Trees
Do it in Barbados with the One Tree One Bajan Project or Tree Planting Project Barbados.
These gratitude journals. One for kids and one for adults, and these two on the left that my boys are using right now.
This budding poet…
This pretty eclectic Spotify playlist, that’s enjoyable in the weirdest possible way. It’s called Thinking of Magic so, you can’t beat that in my books.
This rock cakes recipe from Plantation Reserve Sugar, that looks as good as a drive down Bathsheba. Or basically, any other recipe on their page…(bonus peek at cutie mama, Tracy Highland and her new TikTok channel.)
And last but not least, this thankful quaran-tune. He isn’t the originator of this Golden Girls upgrade, but he’s hilarious at lip-syncing it. Thank you for being a friend, Geoffreymckinney1!
Before you go, let’s make this declaration…
I am not an orphan. There is a place for me in God’s love. He did not make a mistake when He made me. He has a plan for my life, no matter how it looks or how it feels. I am not alone. My story may be a mystery to me, but it is not a mystery to the One who made me. He is my Father, and I will find Him, and find Him always willing.
Dear Readers: Thanks for giving me the opportunity to speak into your lives month after month. I’m so grateful that you have made it thus far.
Dear New Subscribers: You can’t know how much I appreciate you trusting my taste and thoughts and trusting me with your time.
Dear Family: Thank you for your patience month after month as I wrestle to write, and stick to the vision before me.
Dear Granny: Love forever. Your love for words inspired mine. I am eternally grateful.
If you feel like this volume was for you and you’d like me to pray for you for something specific, or if you’d like to ask or share anything with me privately, please click below.
See you all again on June 22. I would love you to share your thoughts, and send this newsletter to a few friends you think may like to receive it every month. See you soon.
Life is a breath, and to love is a privilege.
Loved it! You have a way with words.
Another engaging newsletter.....thank you :)