Vol 16: On Sight

Which might give different connotations than I'm intending.

Welcome to Volume 16 of the Tao Out Loud newsletter where we’re finding everyday magic, every day! If you’ve come here by chance, or a friend passed this on, I hope you’ve come to stay. Sign up below so you don’t miss a thing.

The Magic of Perspective

I might as well tell you now; you’ll see it for yourself soon. The last of our family has succumbed to the need for eyeglasses, right on time for the next school year. The optometrist explained that he is young enough to grow out of the far-sightedness uncustomary for our family, but until then, lenses for reading and screen-time will help take the strain off those molten brown orbs God gave him for eyes.

The week before this same doctor was explaining to me that soon I too will notice a marked difference in my own vision. Granted, when she alluded to the 40-year mark I almost looked around to see who she was talking to. But silently, nervously, I had already noticed a slight decline happening in my leading eye. She confirmed it with a change to my prescription, and all at once, I can’t stop thinking about how the way we see things can change.

The way you see something can change.

For instance, driving home from church on Saturday, I started to remember why I never used to like areas like the one in which I now reside.

Some of you already know—and some may be surprised to learn—that moving to the US was never on our bucket list. Like many islanders, much of my stateside experience was weekend jaunts to New York and Miami, usually for shopping or family reunions. Good for the excursion but nowhere I’d want to remain for more than a week.

New York for all its benefits was busy, grubby, and cold in more ways than one. And Miami, well, in the back of my mind, was Hispanic Las Vegas lite. It all seemed foreign and fabricated—dramatic club makeup instead of that natural glow. All the desirable elements plopped into place for appearances, an image. Whereas home was inherently welcoming, salubrious, and captivating. Why be anywhere else? Why indeed?Because an unplanned change of scenery can allow an unexpected change of perspective. Now that ‘image’ is one I’m growing to love more and more every day.

An unplanned change of scenery can allow an unexpected change of perspective.

On the other hand, there’s an image I find myself struggling to love daily. And that, I’m not ashamed to admit, is my own. Talk about mining for magic lol. The closer I get to that age we will no longer mention, the more often I look into the mirror and see things I don’t like; the more I realize that loving what I see is not going to be automatic, even though I know I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, and all the rhetoric about self-love, and the value of inner beauty (looking beyond your looks) and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder…

I mention this, not for complaint's sake, but as an acknowledgment of weakness…and also because I believe I’m not alone in it; that many of us upbraid ourselves on some level, even if we immediately assuage it with a neatly pressed and placed Bible verse or affirmation or gratitude exercise.

I am more than ok with honesty. After all, honesty is all the mirror is giving…about my belly, thighs, arms, and second chin, enhanced in my own vision (literally, for some reason) when I am wearing my new trial contacts—dailies, as opposed to my usual monthlies—that are supposed to be thinner, more comfortable, and fresh as a frangipani flower with each wear…essentially, all the things I am not. Lol.

I am more than ok with honesty.

Having said all that (cause I know half of you are rolling your eyes and the other half are planning an intervention) it’s amazing how much our view of ourselves affects our view of others, including the One who created us in the first place. And I dare say it works in the reverse as well, if our vision of Him is low, the way we see ourselves and esteem others can take a hit as well.

The apostle formerly known as Saul spat some bars that went something like

Now we see through a glass darkly / But then face to face / Now I know in part / But then shall I know even as also I am known.

Most mirrors show us what we’re already determined to see, but it’s good to remember that “mirrors show us what we look like, not who we are.” Not my quote, though I wish it were. If an unhappy opinion of what the mirror shows us becomes all we think of ourselves, then who we are will start to form and pattern itself to our low view. It seems to seep its way into everything.

Most mirrors show us what we’re already determined to see.

There’s something to be said for renewed perspective…which comes from snatching unhealthy ways of seeing and thinking before they take root and affect our behavior, attitudes, or growth. This happens through education, exploration, appreciation, and transformation. A la Romans 12:2, it comes by renewing our minds to line up with what God has said, so we can tell the truth from a lie and eliminate the lies…on sight.

Perspective is heavily influenced by point-of-view, and by point-of-view, I mean the breadth of our experience. I remember watching a video that popped up in my timeline, and against my better judgment, I visited the comments section. It was eye-opening (no pun intended).

The way I had interpreted the scene based on my knowledge, past, and experiences, was vastly different from how other people read the interaction. And then there was an outlier group that had a third, completely separate read on what was going on, and yet another that thought they knew based on interweb gossip.

I came to two conclusions: A. Stay clear of social media, and B. What we think is most obvious or evident—based on how we innately process an image or person, or situation—might be fully foreign to someone coming in from another culture, socialization, vantage point, or any number of differentiating factors.

That’s why sometimes it’s better to be slow to speak and quick to listen. We actually learn something then—gain additional perspective, and a better byproduct by far…compassion.

A final thought…

There’s only one mirror that tells the whole truth—not necessarily what we want to see or are expecting—and that’s the word of God. James 1 puts it this way:

22-24 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.

25 But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.

Selah.

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In other (kinda stale) news…

“All I’m getting is emails saying we will let you know, cause there’s a lot of y’all,” I moaned to my friend Jacinth. We were talking about our writing aspirations and efforts and their fruitful- or (moreso) fruitlessness. She was regaling me with affirmation on how she regarded my work as a writer. I as usual was batting it away like Serena. Within 24 hrs I was messaging her again stupefied.

Commonwealth Writers had emailed to announce they were accepting two poems I’d submitted—and forgotten—for publishing in their online magazine adda. I was honestly so shocked and grateful, and a few months ago they were released to the world in Speak Out! Volume 4. The two poems cast light on immigration and race through the eyes and with the voices of those deeply affected by them, and I think that’s one reason they made the cut. Seeing through the eyes of someone else can also bring awakening, awareness, and adjusted perspective. Please let me know what they do for you if you check them out.

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#Thanksfriends

Thank you to all my ride or dies who’ve stuck around for the painfully slow evolution of whatever this newsletter was, is and will be :). This one was different, again, (and a long time in coming) but if you got this far, thank you for reading, for being a safe sounding board for my vulnerability, and for your honest feedback. I mentioned above that I like that. Hopefully. you didn’t skip that part. Thanks for your patience till the next one!

Chao for now.